wow, I hadn't realized...

I have thought often, you know you NEED to go and blog...or cancel it! make up your mind...well....

TADA!

I'm BACK! well, for now at least. does anyone remember when I said I was doing renovations last year? Well, I know 1 person who does...lol (the only one who probably reads this thing!)

well, me writing here, isn't the only thing that is back, so are the Reno's! Ugh, this weeks excitement..what was supposed to be a great weekend planned painting and fun with teenagers. turned darkly into the scrape and cry weekend...:(
I so wanted to get into the painting of my dining room, in my own wonderfully 100 year old home. One room, the living room is done. So much to my delight far better than I could have imagined. Fact is I turned around after the furniture was in place and gasped to myself, with great joy!
Now to the dinging room....We have the paint, I had , all hands on deck, furniture was moved, and then, oddly (yeah right) the wall was touched as one large piece of furniture was moved, leaving a scratched spot.
I went over to the spots, looked closer and realized the paint already on the wall was peeling, very similar to that of fingernail polish. I pulled and with horror just KNEW...that no paint would stick to THAT wall...(pouting I knew the dark truth about my walls). It was more than obvious, we were going to have to remove everything on the wall, 100 years of history.
now in reality, I am a history preserver, for most purposes, not where 100 years of terrible, ugly, wallpaper and paint over plaster and lathe walls! There is something about 8 inches of deep purple peonies against green wallpaper that just doesn't NEED to be savaged.
Do you have any idea just how hard it is to remove countless layers upon layers of ugly old wallpaper can be. UGH, ouch, sigh and sadness all describe it!
I hadn't felt good at one point, prior to the scraping point. I had delightful dreams of coming out and finding white primed walls, and a true gain on the rooms redoing. I awoke from my nap, feeling rejuvenated, I came out of the bedroom to some parts of the wall slate gray along with piles of paper on the floor. Sad looks on that of my husband, and my lovely teenage helpers.
so, on goes the saga of renovation trip falls at my home. I just know in my heart, it will someday be finished.
many, many things have been accomplished here. SO MANY difficulties overcome in our processes. Our home is much better than I imagined it would be at this point.
Our front is yet to be finished but, We are beyond a point of shame anymore, and I actually accomplished cutting it the other day, without breaking a sweat, because over half is level, and seeded. Our garden looks great this year, and then so does the living room. The kitchen is starting to definitely looking HUGELY better as well. so there are serious improvements overall. and I count those things when I look at the walls of my horrific dinging room! Knowing full well, there is a lovely neutral beige color for it, calmly and patiently awaiting its opening from its can (ok I had to be silly somewhere)...I know there is a lovely dark brown for the floor to go withthe window shades and so on for the room!

SO as I sit here at 1 am in the morning watching my terribly devoted husband, standing once again on the ladder scraping his little heart out, I will say farewell, and promise not to wait 3 months to come back and comment!

Except for Monday, which was...

Well we have all heard this song right?
Well, it seems I can't get this SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. Maybe that is because it is appropriate. See,s like most days are ok, well except for Monday. Whoops, that's TODAY ISN'T IT?
I am happy to announce that IT IS WARM outside. woohoo! I get to experience that part of the year where my inner soul get to FLY! Oh how I have waited for it. I have told myself, when it gets warm, I will feel better. When it gets warm, I will be able to do more. When it gets warm, I will not hurt. HUH...well, then I read back over last years blogs! LOL

I believe I would find that all the things I was previously telling myself would be true, if I would just factor in just ONE MORE INGREDIENT....caution.

I tend to forget often, yes, today, or for right now, I can....cut the grass, weeds the flower beds, or push the dirt where it belongs...BUT.

Later that day....(which has GOT TO BE MONDAY!)

I can't move, or breathe, or even call my current state of mind at that time, conscious!

I tend to forget that even though it is warm, I don't have to beat myself up, and just ENJOY...Yep ENJOY, the weather and relief.
I have had a lot of time here lately to re-evaluate things, and the last year, and then on to the past.

It has been over a year now, since we lost Auntirene. She impacted us, and others in life, and in death. I realised there were others that were suffering as the date came back around this year. My husband, felt his world crush one more time this year as it came about.

As for his health, well, it is some better, but his abilities are limited, not by his weight, or his job, but some of it is backlash from his heart, the other is from suffering from depression.

As I have taken stock in the good the bad the ugly. I realise, the good keeps popping back up.
for all the bad, with the deaths, money, health issues for us both, OH MY THE GOOD OUT WEIGH THE BAD BY FAR!

There are things and people in our lives that make our hearts sing.
There are days that make other days pale against them, where happiness is concerned.

Pardon me as I list some exceptional things to be grateful for....forgive my ramblings.....
I am grateful for
teenagers, all of you KNOW who you are,
(and although there are those who believe I shouldn't be allowed around kids...that is your issue, not reality)
My friends
my children...ALL OF THEM
My oldest son Charles, and his children
my daughter and Caleb (who strives everyday to make the best of it, in spite of the autism)
My Youngest son and his wife.
My neighbors, my caregiver, my NEW Dr.s who try SO HARD TO HELP...(and yes they do)
there are so many things, everyday, I find all the reasons i the world to lay my head down and give thanks for.

I am so lucky. through all there is in everyday to struggle through.... I am lucky.
Mostly, I am grateful for my husband....who puts up with my every mood!!!!! LOL

He truly has the patience of a Saint.

Wow, I get to stay home..so what do I do...?

In the adventures of going back and forth to the doctorwith 4 hours travel either way...getting shots in several areas, for pain control, ect., ect., ect. oh add the other doctors that AREN'T that far away, well life gets busy.
So today I find myself at HOME woo hoo! I thought well I could do...and .... then I can....!

YEAH RIGHT!

Reality check, there is a reason I travel to the doctor. There is a reason I DON'T do some of these things..DUH! I hate it. I do. So my neighbor decided to have some renovations done on her home, and being the DIY persson I am, I thought I was going to see how they do it. Found out if I was going to do it myself, IF I could do it myself, my procedures are spot on. Now I KNOW if I have my husband do these thingss I really can tell him how to do it! LOL

Well, there are some things I DO plan on doing, piddling around the house, doing the computer things, getting some correspondence done. Then...
I have an important date with the pillow this afternoon! Ah, Lifes little pleasures. There really is something to say for being in an "empty nest."

Come on back later, I plan on doing a COMPLETE update on my chiildren and grandchildren. Then we will see what other sort of things I can get into! lol

Hope you have a great, wonderful, absolutely resting Wednesday!

wow, what a difference a life can make?

Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago, that I worked on the yard. It seems even longer that I actually planted a garden, drove a car, planned anything...but it wasn't. It wasn't a lifetime ago, that I worked in the gravel, the strawberry's, that I helped my husband work with the teenagers to do the wall in front of our house.
AHHH, but then there is today. Today, I am in a motor wheelchair. Think I did too much? Today, I run down the ramp..another necessary addition to our house. It is TODAY, that I have to actually rely on ASKING! that is one of the hardest things to do.

To ask? To depend, to need. Oh what an adjustment I have had to make. Remember me, I taught myself to paddle the gravel, and odd ways of getting things done? Remember, my major concern was to see which color matched what in the world of flowers.
Oh well, we will start something new. Something valuable in the realm of my everyday. That's OK too.
Maybe I need to get back to that writing thing I do. Petting the dogs, loving the husband...and the family.
I think I will just re- prioritize.
...more to come....