Saturday, May 10, 2008

My Dad

I was adopted by my "father" when I was six months old which lasted about two years until my mother divorced him. I also remember getting presents from him for a number of years then I looked him up when I was thirteen, there was such a chill in the air.
I meet my biological father when I was twenty-four, to not only find him an alcoholic, but an idiot as well. Now that I'm forty-eight, we have only gotten together few times, yet, we don't actually feel that parent-child click, if you know what I MEAN.
When I was five, my mother met Charlie, they dated for years and years. He was there almost evenings. They finally married when I was 13, yet he was always around anyway.
He taught me how to fish, fix cars and do plumbing. He worked in a factory as a maintenance foreman. I remember as a kid, they would have to order special tools to work on the machinery at his factory, he would sneak it home so as to share it with me. Some of the tools were three foot long! Charlie was my "Dad". There were so many things he showed me growing up. Charlie taught me how to shuck corn, cut grass the right way, make a bed so tight a quarter would bounce off it ( if the quarter bounced I got to keep it!)
We were really quite poor growing up, we didn't always have running water or an inside bathroom. I specifically remember though that Charlie would bring one eight pack of bottle pop to the house each week. There were enough pops so that each of us could have two.
He bought a pogo stick for me and made stilts for me to walk on. We had a little cement patio outside the back door and he and I would play on both for more than an hour a night. When I got too big for the stilts ( I was a very tall young woman at the age of ten) he made me a taller pair.
Charlie is getting up there in age, and he and my mother divorced many, many years ago.
We still talk though. He is still my Dad. He lives a couple of states away, when possible I'm able to go see him.
It broke my heart when this little old man, greyed thinned hair, came bent towards me at church. Yes, he was married before and had children with his ex-wife (who he remarried after mom and him divorced), Yet he was still is the man who my dad is. I never called him Dad. I always called him Charlie.
I always minded him as well. In the whole time I was growing up, Charlie never laid a hand on me. If he were displeased all he had to do was to clear his throat and I was on the run. I remember of two times he actually raised his voice to me, I also felt the heat from his words, buddy I chopped to! I also deserved much more those times than a raised voice.
There have been a ton of things he's taught me over the years. Not only did he teach me how to be a mechanic, a farmer, a housekeeper,and how to can foods. He taught me how to be a good person, how to love without the link of bloodlines, he showed me how to love God with grace and faith and be a good christian. He taught me how a real Dad acts, how they love and behave. Charlie showed me how to be a good person, a good parent, and a good child.
Charlie was and is a good MAN. I remember one time I was in the emergency room. I was having complications from a hysterectomy. He sat there tears quietly coming down his face, holding my hand and telling me about God. I hadn't taken the Lord into my heart and he pleaded with me. I don't ever remember him doing that again.
As a single parent I relied on my mother and Charlie to watch my children while I worked. He gladly watched "HIS grand babies". He taught them many of the lessons he taught me as a child. There were things they got from him as well,I didn't. Charlie taught my kids to tie their shoes, how to comb their hair before school and he taught them how to pray. I love my dad so much I named my first son after him. He cried that day as well.
To this day he will fight you over his grand kids, all of them.

He showed me LOVE.

I just wanted to share some of the things that one person can do. In spite of all the things that have happened in my life, I really feel like the luckiest person in the world. I was biologically created by a donor, I was adopted on paper, then I was really adopted, by the best Dad in the world.

Sadness, and yet another terrible loss

There is a time for everyone to die. That is inevitable. Who and what this person is to us truly is the difference.

Once again I have had a loss in my life. A woman, whom with No reason to be kind to me, has shared not only her life but her death. Both were significant.

Dorothy was the wife of my step-father. They were married after my mother and Charlie were divorced. She welcomed me, and offered not only her lived but her motherliness. Often, she would look at me and say, "You know, I am your other mother." Never stated as a question, always as a statement. She embraced myself and my children and grand-children in the same way, with unconditional love.
Growing up with her children, (which is another story for another time), my family was as accepted into their family as if we were just late at getting to the family instead of being born there.
Charlie, whom I have written before, is the only man I have known as a Real father.

With deep, heart wrenching sorrow, Dorothy passed on to be with the Lord yesterday. Two days before Mothers day she was called home. Encircled by her family and loved ones, She left with grace and dignity.
Once again I found that; my step-father not only how to live:but he also taught me how I needed to say good-bye to someone you love.

I am not sure now , just how long we will have Charlie with us, the grief for him is great. I just pray, when his time comes I can be as dignified as he was yesterday.
I ask that those who read this, keep him in their heart and prayers. Both Charlie and Dorothy are loved and cherished.
Dorothy will be terribly missed.

Give the Lord a hug for me Dorothy.


Friday, May 9, 2008

Ok. I must be Getting so much older!

I dye my hair, not so much because its a cool color. I look for shoes with good arches, (yeah this one hurts to admit), Instead of worrying about how a guy will see me in an outfit, I worry I will see me in the outfit. ok, I'm older. NOT OLD though.

Gone south for the WINTER?

well, it sounds good. for those close around me they know that once again that tragedy is sticking in my family. my step-mother is passing away. I've come to be with her and to spend the Mothers' day weekend with my daughter and her son. so no I haven't gone crazy with the whole winter thing....just south.