Monday, April 28, 2008


Wow, three days can be the making of terror. As I have spoken of my husbands health as well as my own, it has been an interesting ride shall we say.

I have forever been the "CAREGIVER", the one who said "I can do it because someone has to." I did stuff because I felt I had to, that this is what I was meant to do. AS Johns health has declined, I have begun to pick up the slack. ALL the slack, including doing things a normaly, healthy person would have felt stress and fatigue over. Never being one of those individuals who understood limitations, (someone forgot to tell meI didn't wear a cap and could fly) I have overdone it. I have found my own terror at my own making.

Terror in my world is NOT being able to do evrything I set out to do. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO WAS TO GO TO A FRIENDS PARTY FOR HER SON.

Whamp...I gave out. Regardless of what I said to my body, my body said something different. We went, I gave out, we had to leave mid way through the party. My heart broke.

To My Dear Friend...I am sorry and I love you all.

Maybe I'll learn.


Molly Daniels said...

Jackie...forgive yourself and move on:) We'll expect you at Sara's b-day party! Quit beating yourself up, my friend...

We still on for thursday???

jackie said...

ok I'm over it!