A TALE OF TERROR!

Wow, three days can be the making of terror. As I have spoken of my husbands health as well as my own, it has been an interesting ride shall we say.

I have forever been the "CAREGIVER", the one who said "I can do it because someone has to." I did stuff because I felt I had to, that this is what I was meant to do. AS Johns health has declined, I have begun to pick up the slack. ALL the slack, including doing things a normaly, healthy person would have felt stress and fatigue over. Never being one of those individuals who understood limitations, (someone forgot to tell meI didn't wear a cap and could fly) I have overdone it. I have found my own terror at my own making.

Terror in my world is NOT being able to do evrything I set out to do. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO WAS TO GO TO A FRIENDS PARTY FOR HER SON.

Whamp...I gave out. Regardless of what I said to my body, my body said something different. We went, I gave out, we had to leave mid way through the party. My heart broke.

To My Dear Friend...I am sorry and I love you all.

Maybe I'll learn.

The newest thing running

Running! well not literally, but that seems to be what I've been doing...till...I've RUN myself down! One of my dearest friends had a party for her sons confirmation. An event we have been planning on attending for quite a while.
We went, It was a GREAT party, but somewhere between the meal and the event, I felt the urge to pass out!With my own health issues at the back and Johns my primary concern, I have run myself into the ground. I got light headed, dizzy, started stumbling, and though I just told everyone I couldn't stay, I AM SURE THEY KNEW. They kept coming up and asking me if I were OK?...( as opposed to asking John).

Well all I can say is I hope they understand. I love them dearly and if had been possible I would have been there. I just don't think it would have looked too good if I had passed out during MASS!

The List Update.

If you read my last post you would know I am a Lister. I LIST EVERYTHING!
well I have decided that I am going to keep my list to a ten line max. (as opposed to the entire house list which is VERY comprehensive). After I complete my yen items then I should rest. Exhaustion is a bad thing for someone with health issues. Trust me I know.

R.C. AND THE GANG
Well, I'm pretty sure the transition is complete. When we say," Time for night, night." He bounds toward the bed and does his Rabbit imitation with the other two dogs. He stands in line now to get treats like the other two do and as for his interaction with the other two...Charlotte and him have found out that they can wrestle for hours! FROM ONE END OF THE HOUSE TO THE OTHER! I truly believe he feels at "home" now.


Hubby update

John had a new blood test and his blood is getting thinner, though it is still thin. He remains weak. We are starting to do our research and find out what is what as well as where we go from here. It seems there isn't much they can do for him. Not because of his size, but because of the enlargement of the left atrial. This is what is the problem. He is going to have to work at getting his strength back, but it looks like we're going to have to wait for his blood to work itself out first.
He is trying a little more each day, but he's not adventurous yet. Keep him in your thoughts.

Ok. Today we are running off a list!

Todays Vent!

It seems like the only thing I have the ability to write lately are lists. Lists of things which need to be done, lists of people who HAVE to be called, Lists of people to go see (DOCTORS AND HOSPITALS).
With all these lists, I have managed to get things done around here, but I am finding out my LISTS are keeping me found writing words down as a sentence and not as a column!
I have been stressed as you could tell if you've been reading my blog lately. My lists have been the only way to reel in some of the chaos that has ensued lately. I was also reminded that PANICKING is not an effective way to handle things! I was told to own what is mine to do, remember to take care of myself, and to spend a GREAT amount of time getting puppy loves! Okay..I did that part, and yeah it was good for me.

R.C. UPDATE


Our little guy has adapted very well. HE'S GAINED 2 POUNDS!!!!!!!!! He has also started to play REALLY hard with toys on his own. Charlotte, who truly believes she is the queel bee, has met her match. lol R.C.was playing with a toy the other day and she wanted it. Typical for Charlotte she walked over and then went to take it from him...:) he growled, nipped at her. She backed off with the look of surprise and looked at me like, "Hey, did you see that. WHAT THE HELL was THAT?"

John Update

John went to the doctor and his blood had been thinned 5 times more than it was supposed to be. this has made him tired. The doctor is having him return to work in 1 month. He said this will only serve to prove that he REALLY can't return to work. He is struggling with this idea.
If you have ever had an injury, you'll understand that. It tends to make you evaluate your self worth.

Miss Molly and I are planning a trip in May that is going to be terribly exciting for me. The trip away is going to be great alone, but the exposure to all the great writers will help as well.


WELL I hear another List SCREAMING at Me!!!!!!!!!!!

A clue from a friend.

I havebeen talking to friend lately about her psuedo-name. I have googled name and there seems tobe a jacqueline/jackie rogers who is an illustrator.

so I have been thinking and I am asking opinions about the name

J. Lynn Rogers as a psuedo-name. tell me what you think.

Todays Updates! Official wooooow

We went to the doc. today. Got the hubby a blood test to check the PHEW, the last few days have been exhausting.

THEN...

We get the call from the doc. office saying "You NEED to get him to the hospital NOW!" Evidently when you get bloodthinners and doctors don't watch you can end up like him and have your blood 5 times thinner than it is supposed to be! go get a shot. oh well. We're preparing for the next battle. The doctor today said that they are going to try to send him back to work in a month. This is to just PROVE he can never RETURN to work. OKAY!
John sits and is trying to re-assess life. He is so weak and it frustrates him.

R.C. UPDATE!

R.C. is addapting well. when we got the little guy he only weighed 4 pounds. we weighed him last night and now he weighs 6 WOOOHOOO!
He has gotten so EXPECTS to be in either mine or my husbands lap. When we say, "Let's go night night!" He tears out toward the bedroom, jumps on the bed like a rabbit and just tears out across the bed like he has just won the lottery We have noticed he has allergies. We have to get things a little calmer here before we can adress this at the vets! He is SO cute though and now he shares blankets with the other dogs and they seem to think he is their baby!

He insists on being on my lap everytime I'm online. I am going to have to get a small table or a bigger LAP!


Insanity is still ruling but I am Going to make it yet ...

even if it kills


EVERYONE AROUND ME!